Anonymous Fat Guys (AFG) Unite
“No one ever knows our name if we do our job right.”
That was the hard-earned wisdom I learned from two professional football players one night sitting around a campfire drinking beer. Both of them stood over 6’5” and weighed nearly 300 lbs. Each had championship rings, one from the Grey Cup (Canadian Football League), and the other from the Super Bowl. One of them was my little brother Christopher and the other was his best friend Andy. Chris had already retired, but Andy would play in one more Super Bowl before hanging up his jersey. Our conversation that night reminded me of why I loved playing the game. Football is a hard and painful sport, but the joy of teamwork, the shared suffering in pursuit of a common goal, the euphoria in victory, and the comfort of fellow teammates in the moment of defeat, all of these things make the pain and struggle worthwhile.
“No one ever knows our name if we do our job right.”
I also love hanging out with guys like this because the roles we played on the field demanded a unique combination of athletic abilities and a willingness to play with relative anonymity.
You see, though my career ended after college, we were all offensive linemen, also known as the guys on the bottom of the pile at the end of every play. We were the ones with the muddiest, bloodiest jerseys, whose names rarely get mentioned over the PA system or on TV. That is unless, of course, we made a mistake. Then the referee would throw the flag and announce the violation and jersey number of the offender. “Holding, #62…” I got that call a lot.
That night at the fire, as we shared stories of competition, injuries, wins, and losses, I think it was Andy who used the term “anonymous fat guys” (AFGs) to describe the unique and rotund fraternity of offensive linemen. The AFGs are the ones who show up to do their job and don’t care if the people in the stands know who they are. They don’t care about being at the mic for the postgame press conference, about camera close-ups, or social media likes. They’re not there for the recognition anyway. They’re there for their teammates in pursuit of a shared goal that they deem worthy of their best effort.
Off the football field, fighting exploitation in our culture is a shared goal worthy of our best effort as men, but it is hard and painful work.
It’s hard because our message, our methods, and our posture as men in this space run counter to so much of what’s considered “normal” these days. It’s normal for men to show up with pride and arrogance. It’s normal for men to show up looking for what they can get out of any situation like advantage, promotion, profit, or praise. And while it’s not normal for every man to buy sex, it is normal for most men to tolerate the culture that makes the business of sex trafficking possible.
Epik men, however, and those of our partner organizations, our law enforcement, and policy friends are not “normal”. These men show up looking for what they can give; time, attention, and service. They’re mindful of the unearned advantage they have as men in this culture and are willing to give that advantage away in service to the most vulnerable among us.
I love hanging out with abnormal guys like this because when I’m in the company of men who see themselves for who they truly are, it forces me to up my self-awareness game. I believe this kind of masculine humility, which I’ll admit can sound like an oxymoron, is one of the most needed ingredients in the fight against sexual exploitation. Our shared vision is creating a climate that is inhospitable to the proliferation of sex trafficking and that’s a huge goal that will take all of us, as well as our sons, and our grandsons to achieve. I believe we will win because we’re not in it for fame and glory, we’re in it to see all women (and the men who love them) truly thrive.
You’ll probably never know their names, but the men of Epik, our beloved partners, law enforcement, and policy friends are the AFGs of the anti-trafficking movement who show up every day and do the hard, unglamorous work that is making a difference. Quietly, with tenacity and often at significant personal cost, they’re at work disrupting the demand that drives sex trafficking and working to dismantle the systemic forces that perpetuate it.
In small teams, task forces, law enforcement agencies, and legislative chambers, AFGs show up. They’re showing up in Portland, San Francisco, Modesto, Fresno, Ventura, Los Angeles, Orange County, San Bernardino, Tucson, Dallas, Fort Worth, San Antonio, Huston, Corpus Christi, Kansas City, Madison, Detroit, Edmonton, Winnipeg, Washington DC, Denver and beyond.
So, here’s to the anonymous fat guys! We’re better with you in the trenches. Oh, one more thing: there’s room on the team for more AFGs. A lot more.
AFG Unite
Get Your AFG Hat today on the Epik Shop!
Anonymous Fat Guy - Trucker Cap
$25.00
This six-panel trucker cap with a mesh back will be a comfy and classic choice for a perfect day in the sun.
• 60% cotton, 40% polyester
• Mid-profile cap with a low-profile embroidery area
• Structured, six-panel cap
• 3.5″ crown (8.9 cm)
• Hard buckram front panels
• Mesh back
• Permacurv® visor, matching undervisor
• Plastic adjustable closure
